written 21 marzo 2024
Most of the time I don't feel it.
I'm just going.
But the smallest things will stop me
in the quietest moments.
Folding laundry and noting how small the socks are.
Are they too small now?
The little clothes in the donate pile because they're just a little too little now.
The empty space where the crib used to be by our bed.
Because it was time for her to have her own space.
I miss the night I savored her breathing by our bed-
realizing it would be the last.
We don't have to walk quietly into our room anymore.
The days are different too.
She doesn't sleep all day like she used to.
We almost have a routine.
She needs to be strapped into her bouncer
and she notices toys.
The babysitter says she has gotten bigger.
I'm with her everyday- it's easy to miss.
But when the evening is quiet
I feel it hard.
My littlest baby.
I know she will still be little tomorrow
But a little less little than today.